Blog

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post for my website, and even longer since I’ve written one that wasn’t prompted by a Presidential Leadership Academy blog due date 🙂

I guess now is a better time than ever to update this blog, since I am officially done my sophomore year at Penn State (oh my goodness) and a lot of exciting things have been going on in my life. I’ll do my best to compress a year of memories, moments, musings, and more in just a single post.

The first struggle: where do I begin?

I was back in Simmons Hall this year with my roommate and best friend Harshitha, and like last year we were surrounded by an amazing group of friends that got the school year off to a great start. I volunteered as a mentor for the Schreyer orientation called (SHO TIME) where I met some awesome people and formed close bonds with my mentees. The beginning of sophomore year already felt so comfortable, with a support system of friends I already knew and the boldness of being a returning student that helped me talk to so many more people that I have since developed strong relationships with.

With the first semester came a new set of classes and a knew workload, but I was happy to find that a lot of the work really interested me. I took my first hands-on film class that taught me a lot about the inner-workings of film, equipment, editing, and more. I discovered that comparative politics – despite the frequent monotony of the class itself – was a topic that piqued my interest. My first class with the PLA introduced me to a group of unique, diverse, and thought-provoking students, many of which are now my extremely close friends.

The first semester also brought with it a lot of tailgating and football games, complete with rain ponchos, adorable dogs, and buff chick dip. It brought crazily-themed parties, interesting Halloween costumes (Harshitha and I were “rama lama lama” and “ka dinga da dinga dong” from that one Grease song, intense concerts, canning trips, my amazing THON production committee and all that came along with it, the PLA Washington DC trip, formals, Thanksgiving break, and a whole lot of other memories that would create a nearly never-ending list. It also brought a new friend group, the beginning and ends of relationships, and the introduction to people who would touch my life in ways I never would have imagined.

And to think, that was only the first semester!

The second semester started out on kind of a rough note. After winter break, to put it quite simply I was down in the dumps. I felt unmotivated, uninspired. Certain events combined with my annual seasonal depression brought on by cold days and early darkness was not a formula for success. I didn’t like feeling down, especially since I – and I’m sure many others – always consider myself to be a cheery and upbeat person. This sadness didn’t feel like me, and I was determined to break it.

They say time heals everything, and I discovered that while this is true, it also takes a lot more. It takes distraction in the form of focusing on incredible friendships, diving into activities, and trying a lot of new things. I am so thankful to my close pals who always reached out to me when I wasn’t particularly myself, and I am also so thankful to my new amazing girl squad – the winter of women – who helped remind me that there are definitely great things that can come out of a seemingly never-ending winter.

THON season also helped pick me up into higher spirits. I was never feeling down when I was with my committee, from our Tuesday night meetings, to our filming get-togethers, to THON weekend itself. I can imagine it would be difficult for anyone to step into the BJC during THON weekend and not feel completely inspired and in awe at the difference some Penn State students can make. It also gave me some much-needed perspective; that no matter what I’m going through, I am lucky to have what I have and be am where I am surrounded by the people I am so grateful to have in my life.

Before I knew it, the days became a little longer and a little warmer, and it became more bearable to sit on my bed and do homework as the sky stayed brighter past 5:00. After THON was State Patty’s day, then the real St. Patty’s day, followed by my trip to Chicago during spring break with the PLA. This trip was honestly one of the highlights of my time at Penn State so far. We went to exotic dinners, museums, bus tours, comedy shows, and more. Each night we ended up in one of our hotel rooms, talking and laughing until our eyes drooped, and I could feel the pressure of friendship forming with a group of people I could both laugh with and talk in class with about some of the most serious issues plaguing our campus.

After Chicago came the last few months full of memories made with the variety of people in my life. I felt back to my upbeat self as I tried new restaurants in state college, spent late nights eating chips and salsa and talking about life, watched weird British movies, and got ready to the rhythmic bass beats that emanated from 275 Simmons each Friday and Saturday night. The last few months at Penn State encompassed moments that were the biggest reminders of why I chose this school and why I choose to spend time with the people that I do. I am surrounded by selfless, kind, funny, exciting, spontaneous, and unique people each day in a school that provides me with the resources that I need to both have fun and succeed in classes and preparation for my future.

On top of all the memories made this year, I have two exciting experiences coming up! This summer I will be working as a digital media production intern for the Smithsonian Channel in New York City. I just found out today that I will be rooming with my friend from PLA, Liv, in a nice NYU dorm! We are working at the same office and I am thrilled to get valuable career experience as well as the chance to explore the city with my good friend.

And in the coming spring I will be working in Los Angeles! I was accepted into the Penn State Hollywood Program, and I could not be more thrilled to have the west coast experience in the entertainment industry, especially with my amazing friend Christina, who was also accepted.

I have learned and grown so much during this past school year, and I am looking forward to the upcoming experiences through which I know I will grow even more! I can’t wait to see what I will do and who I will meet, and I’m hoping I will look back at this blog post in a few months with new relationships and vital knowledge under my belt. Until then, I will enjoy a few more weeks in good old West Chester!

(This is a blog post I wrote for my PLA course.)

One of the best things about college that I’ve discovered so far is that it seems to be four years comprised of moments. Obviously, moments make up any stretch of time, but college in particular is full of important ones – moments that make me realize things about myself, moments that challenge expectations I’ve been groomed to believe until now, moments that allow me to appreciate what I have, moments that deal blows initially but ultimately teach me more than any textbook ever could.

I know that someday I will look back on my time in college as a collection of memories; memories that have become faded as time passes and I can no longer remember the exact way my dorm room was arranged or the exact streets to walk down to take me to my favorite places. Some of the moments will no longer be as fresh in my mind, and though I’ll look at the old polaroid picture with the smiling faces and the date written at the bottom, I won’t be able to recall what jokes were told, what movies were watched, what secrets were shared in the way that I can right now.

But it makes me happy to think that I’ve been able to have so many moments – both big and small – so far during my time here that I’m not the same person I was when I first came to Penn State just a little over a year ago. My life leading up to now has been so full of anticipation for those “life experiences” that everyone always talked about, and now I can feel myself having those experiences and changing for the better because of them.

The first moment was the first night in my dorm room, sleeping by myself before my roommate got there knowing that it would be months before I returned to my bedroom at home. Then there was the moment when I went home for the first time in October and realized how strange it felt to be packing a suitcase to go to my house in West Chester. Then there was the moment when my maps app told me that my “home” was Simmons Hall and not 1245 N. Ashbrooke Drive. These moments, though they seemed small at the time, were big steps in realizing my growing independence and transition from childhood to really taking care of myself by myself. I still depend on my parents for so much, but college has taught me to depend far more on myself.

Some moments I’ve had with my friends have taught me what it really means to connect with other people on a level I’d never experienced. There’s something about living in the same hall as people, getting nearly every meal with them, running late night errands with them and for them, and experiencing things together on a daily basis that is unmatched. From the first moments I met some of my best friends (and it’s crazy to think that I didn’t know most of them before freshman year) to moments now when we’re sitting in my dorm room, eating donuts and playing taboo and feeling like we can talk about absolutely anything with no shame or judgement – I have learned from them all. I have learned what it means to have a group of people looking out for me and caring so much about my happiness even when I don’t prioritize it enough myself.

I could go on and on about the specific defining moments I’ve had in college to this point, ranging from the good ones to really bad ones, but I think what’s even more important is the total effect they’ve had on me. As cheesy as it sounds, I have learned so much through experience and I feel wiser as a person because of my time here. I’ve met wonderful people, seen wonderful things, and am often struck by the surreal sensation that so many things going on around me every day are so much bigger than myself.

I know I always get so sentimental and cliché in these blog posts, but no amount of writing can do justice to how grateful I am for these moments that are shaping me every single day. So I’m going to continue pay tribute to what I’ve been given one blog post at a time 🙂

(This is a blog post I wrote for my PLA course.)

The weekend I spent in Washington D.C. with the Presidential Leadership Academy was one of the most thought-provoking experiences I have had in a long time. I didn’t think it was possible to fit so much activity into three days, but even if it meant early mornings and late nights, I was so grateful to have been exposed to so many speakers, museums, monuments, restaurants, and more. I was also so grateful to have gotten to know so many people from all different years in PLA and become so much closer with our 2020 class. This weekend just confirmed my belief that the best way to bond with others is to travel with them. Nothing brings individuals together like talking for hours in a hotel room or spending nights exploring a city.

There were so many highlights throughout the three days, from hearing the diverse views of congressmen Glenn Thompson and Dwight Evans, to learning about the fascinating concept of urban/transportation planning from Eli Glazier, Sheila Borkar, and Ken Ray. I also loved Damion Thomas’ passion when he spoke of his experience curating the sports exhibit at the National Museum of African American History and Culture. The museum itself was extremely impactful, and many of the quotes that I read on the walls have tattooed themselves on my brain and I can’t seem to shake them. The same thing happened at the Holocaust museum; going through places like these always strikes a chord in me and it’s so hard for me to wrap my head around the atrocities that have occurred in far too recent history. It’s simply unbelievable the experiences that many individuals had to endure, and the National Museum of African American History and Culture particularly emphasized the enduring prevalence of discrimination of minority groups in society today. The impactful opportunities that we were given in D.C. were unlike anything I could have gotten on a random weekend in State College, and I am so glad that I could get away and have this time to learn and reflect.

However, I wanted to particularly address the PLA alumni panel as something that was very influential for me this weekend. All four of these alumni were evidently successful in their chosen fields, but one theme in the conversation piqued my interest in particular. This theme was about how each individual on the panel defined their happiness. One woman, Sarah, said that she works in her dream job designing museum exhibits, but she is missing the social aspect because she works with “five introverts”. The other woman, Michelle, said that she worked for a long time in a job that she wanted but was very unhappy because of the poor relationship with her boss – unhappy to the point in which she would come home crying each night. She realized that she couldn’t deal with this anymore and now works in a much happier environment. The thing that stuck with me most, however, was when one panelist, Thomas, said that his happiness is defined by success in his career. At the end of the panel he said something to the tune of “show Ed and Helen that you are taking advantage of what they’ve given you through the PLA by going out and finding great success,” to which Helen responded something like, “But happiness and health are the most important things.”

While I understand the merit in defining happiness through career success, I personally believe that I want to define my happiness with much more. Of course, I want to find a prosperous career, but I want this career to be one that I enjoy. I want to form relationships with the people I work with, and I want to wake up every morning knowing that the work I’m doing is impacting others in some way. I never want to be driven by salary, title, or status. I don’t mean to imply at all that this is what the panelists want, but the conversation just got me thinking about what I want in my future. I really respected Michelle’s decision to remove herself from an unhappy environment, even if it was the job she had been striving for. I would make the same decision myself, because I want to feel satisfied with my work and life each day, rather than wishing the time to pass or feeling as though I was stuck in a place where I felt like I was suffocating. And I want my happiness to come from places other than work, as well. I want it to come from family, and health, and creativity, and a feeling that I am making a difference in the lives of others.

That sounds super cliche and turned into a rant that was longer than I intended. But now you can see for sure how thought-provoking this weekend was for me. I don’t know what my future will bring and I don’t need to know for sure right now, but I really appreciate weekends like this one in D.C. that help me to realize what I value and get me thinking about how I can translate these values into a career and a life.

(This is a blog post I wrote for my PLA course.)

My alarm sounded at 6:00 in the morning, and when I rubbed away the sleepiness that fell heavy on my eyelids, I found that the sky outside was still dark. Shortlidge Ave, the view outside my dorm window, was eerily empty and looked like a deserted movie set illuminated by the soft lighting of the moon. I’m never up early enough to appreciate a sight like this, but this morning duty called: it was the day of stadium cleanup.

My roommate and I threw on some clothes we knew we wouldn’t mind getting filthy and stumbled out the door, trying to let in some sense of alertness through the veil of exhaustion created by a mere four hours of sleep. It took everything in us to make our way to Beaver Stadium as the sky gradually brightened, but we knew that the journey would be worth it. We are both in club tennis, and those who participate in stadium cleanup get priority registration for the limited spots for indoor court hours during the winter. We figured that if there was no pain now there’d be no gain later, despite the fact that our bodies were basically screaming at us to turn around and get back under our covers.

We did stadium cleanup last year, and I have to say that it was one of the grossest experiences of my life. Last year it had rained right after the football game, and I don’t think I will ever be able to look at French fries the same way after having to scoop up hundreds of soggy ones left in soaked cardboard boxes. The dryness of this year’s cleanup made it slightly more bearable, but I can’t say by much. My back began to ache from hours of hunched over sweeping and shoveling miscellaneous trash items left by yesterday’s occupants of Beaver Stadium. The minutes ticked by slowly, and each time I picked up a water-logged chicken basket or half-full pint of Peachy Paterno it seemed as though another would materialize in its place. We were only there for four hours, but these were some of the longest hours.

Though I can’t say that I enjoyed stadium cleanup, I do have to admit that it was cathartic in a sense. Almost meditative. I spent the hours keeping myself occupied by letting my mind wander to wherever it wanted to go, and one of the things I couldn’t stop thinking about was the fact that I am so lucky to be able to attend a school like Penn State. You’d think that in that moment, cleaning up leftovers as my eyelids drooped and my calves burned from walking up step after step, that I’d wish I was anywhere else. But I actually thought to myself that even if I had to do stadium cleanup every single weekend, there’s still no place that I would rather be.

Like any school, Penn State has its negatives. The pervasive party culture gets the university into some very sticky situations, and there are definitely problems that need to be seriously addressed when it comes to student conduct, the way we treat one another, and more. But I hate when I tell people that I go to Penn State and the “frat thing” is the first thing they will bring up.

Why can’t they bring up the magic you feel in the air on game days, as if it’s something tangible, something that can be seen in every smiling family at a tailgate or every group of friends posing for a picture in their blue and white outfits? Why can’t they bring up the feeling of entering THON for the first time and seeing a crowd of thousands gathered for an amazing cause, with different colored shirts and signs blending together like watercolors on a canvas? Why can’t they bring up the craziness of the HUB which, though overwhelming sometimes, represents a huge group of people from different backgrounds and interests basking in the one thing we all have in common: that we go to an amazing school like Penn State?

Or why can’t they bring up stadium cleanup? Even in my hungry, aching, sleep-deprived state I could see how lucky I was to be at Penn State. I remember pausing for a moment and looking at the stadium around me and the field below. All of my surroundings were shrouded in a thick fog and it was quiet – a stark contrast to just twelve hours prior when the stands were filled with cheering students and fans. I thought about how happy I was with the decisions I had made that got me to that place, in that stadium, in that fog.

I was born into a life that allowed me my experiences at Penn State. Not many people get that chance. I am so grateful and so fortunate that I did. My school isn’t perfect – no school is – but that doesn’t mean I should overlook all that it has done for me in shaping my life as I know it and allowing me to create invaluable memories. Memories from things like football games and THON all the way to picking up soggy French fries early on a Sunday morning.

(This is a blog post I wrote for my PLA course.)

These past few days at State College were “Parent’s Weekend,” but instead of having my mom and dad come up to visit, I decided to go home. I hadn’t been home to West Chester since I left in mid-August, and this short break was much needed. Going home after being at school for so long feels almost like letting out a deep breath I wasn’t aware I had been holding in. I had fallen back into my Penn State routine, keeping myself overwhelmingly busy (the way I like it) and focusing really hard on both my academics and my social life. After a while, however, this can get very stressful. And sometimes the only remedy to the cinderblock of tension weighing on my chest is to get away from it all for a day or two.

This weekend it was only me and my mom in West Chester, and though I would have loved to spend time with my dad and my brother, I really appreciated the quality time I had with my mom. There are things we can talk about that only we can talk about, and there are things that I say to her that I know only she will truly understand. My friends give me amazing advice, and are always there for me when I need a helping hand or to simply someone to sit there while I vent and complain and let the pent-up thoughts spew from my mind. But there is just something about talking things out with my mom that is unlike any other situation.

Here’s why I think that is: my mom truly and completely, wholeheartedly and indiscriminately wants what is best for me. I know that my friends and the rest of my family do too, but my mom has been there for me through it all and knows exactly the right things to say to remind me what I deserve. There are times when I will be doubting myself, and she’ll make an argument with references to past experiences in my life that I didn’t even remember myself. That’s one thing that I’m sure most girls can relate to – if I tell my mom about someone who wronged me on the fourth day of second grade at recess, she will to this day know that person’s name and everything about them. And she won’t like them.

The point that I’m trying to make is that there is simply just some advice that only a mother can give, and some conversations that can only be had with the person who has been there for you your whole life and knows you more than you know yourself. I think it is extremely important to have a strong relationship with your mom, because she is there to both pump you up and remind you if you are being delusional and overthinking. This also tends to help when I’m trying on clothes – when it comes to this, my mom’s opinion is one of the only opinions that I fully trust.

I am so fortunate to have a mom that I can talk to about everything and trust with anything. Sure, we can get on each other’s nerves at times and occasionally we butt heads about anything from Facebook stalking to how late I’m staying out to what TV show we should watch, but I wouldn’t trade my mom for the world. This weekend in West Chester was exactly what I needed, and I can’t wait for the many more shopping trips, dinner dates, musical attendances, and orchard visits to come.

(This is a blog post I wrote for my PLA course.)

It seems that the topic of leadership has been interwoven into each of the courses that I’m taking this semester, in one way or another.

In my Comparative Politics class and International Relations class, we’ve discussed what constitutes effective leadership when it comes to running a state or interacting with other prominent figures on the world stage. Does a good leader rule with altruism, displaying generosity and helpfulness to other governments and political figures? Does a good leader rule with strong-arm tactics, in pursuit of what’s best for the individuals of their respective state? Is there a middle ground? The answers to these questions depend on who you ask. Like we discussed in class a few weeks ago, some would have claimed that Hitler was a strong leader. Favored characteristics in rulers are relative.

Even in my film classes we’ve touched on the topic of leadership. When making a film, the director takes on the biggest leadership role. Sometimes the director is considered the auteur of the film; that is, his or her involvement in the project and influence on the final product is so great that he or she is considered to be the “author” of the film. But this doesn’t mean that no one else is involved in the movie’s development. Leadership roles in the filmmaking industry are particularly interesting to me because it is evident that many different individuals need to come together to create such a dynamic piece of art; however, where is the power and influence delegated? Is the screenwriter a leader for forming the script? Is the producer a leader for purchasing rights, contributing funds, overseeing production and postproduction, and making pivotal decisions regarding who is hired to work on the film? And are the actors and actresses leaders for taking on roles and molding them into memorable characters? I believe that all of these people involved, plus many more, are leaders in their own way because they are taking on the responsibility of their individual tasks and have to decide for themselves whether they will espouse the characteristics of effective leadership that we have touched on: integrity, organization, adaptability, etc.

One other “course” that I am getting credit for this semester is LA 498, otherwise known as the “SHO TIME mentor course”. I, as well as many others in our PLA class, applied last semester to be an orientation mentor for the incoming class of Schreyer scholars. I was very excited to be chosen, mostly because I knew it would be a lot of fun (and I would get to move in three days before the mass influx of Penn State students returning for the year). I went into the experience fully aware that this was an important leadership position that would determine the quality of a huge transition in our mentees’ lives. Last year, my mentors were amazing and really helped me acclimate to an environment that at first seemed very daunting. I wanted to give back that welcoming experience that was given to me.

Over the summer, we prepared for SHO TIME by writing blog posts and reflection papers about what being a leader really means. My reflections were always cookie-cutter, and I went on for two pages about accepting responsibility and “taking the role seriously.” But it took actually going through the orientation in a position of mentorship to realize the significance of the role we were in. My co-mentor and I had to answer questions, give advice, and make sure each member of our group felt welcome and included. We went through the itinerary, moving from place to place and activity to activity based on what the schedule told us to do; however, one of the most important things I realized is that part of being a good orientation leader is not focusing on the divide between mentor and mentee. Being in a position of leadership does not necessarily mean there has to be a strict power hierarchy – in fact, I think one of the best qualities of a leader in many situations is just being a friend. Being a friend comes with trust, good communication, and reliability. It means that there’s no fear to start up a conversation, express concerns, and make suggestions.

Being a friend would not apply to all leadership positions. Politicians and movie directors might not get done what they need to get done if they don’t focus on the divide between leader and those being led. But I really learned from my experience as a SHO TIME mentor that there are different types of leadership – and in my case, just being personable went a long way.

But like I said before, it all depends on who you are and who else is involved and what the task is. Barack Obama was a damn good leader, but I’m not sure he’d be able to direct the next Shawshank Redemption. Good leadership is all relative.

(This was a blog post I did for my PLA course I am taking this semester. We discussed Greek Life at Penn State and were asked to write a response.)

“There’s a reason phi mu sounds like poo, these girls belong in a barn, the animals are prettier than them and would make for cuter pics. So sorry if you actually thought this wasn’t a bottom tier sorority” – Posted on greekrank.com by “ZBTgroupie” in January.

Where do I begin with this?

Yes, I acknowledge that this is the comment of one individual. It does not by any means represent the attitudes across members of Greek life as a whole; however, I believe it is important to point out a glaring negative of many sororities and fraternities. There is vicious competition to be “the best,” to be “top tier,” and to carry a supposedly esteemed reputation often based on superficial characteristics like looks, popularity, classiness, and social life.

I realize that greekrank.com, which is a website that allows users to make comments about and rate Greek organizations at Penn State and other schools, is not the most reputable source to bring up in an argument. But many times, it is the case that these unofficial forums reveal the sincerity of a situation. It’s not as if fraternities and sororities would come out with official statements saying that being “top tier” is just as much of a priority as raising money for THON and planning community events. But from my personal experience, this seems to be the case. When I hear people talking about Greek life, the conversation usually focuses on popularity or ranking or who-socialed-with-who rather than the community service and integrity.

I am in no way an expert on Greek life and I am just commenting on what I have experienced as someone who is not personally involved in the Greek system. I also want to make it clear that I don’t think all of Greek life is negative. The money raised for THON and the efforts put in to help out the community are extremely commendable efforts, and I don’t doubt that being in a fraternity or sorority is invaluable when it comes to forming close bonds and developing traits such as good leadership and responsibility that will be beneficial in so many regards. I just felt the need to point out something that I believe is inherently wrong with the Greek system as a whole.

Of course, the dangerous drinking habits are a massive downside to Greek life and, as we have unfortunately seen, can lead to horrible tragedy. I don’t know what method I would suggest to change these habits because I know that people will always find ways around the restrictions. However, there might be some correlation between eradicating the ranking system based on superficiality and seeing less instances of irresponsible behavior. This could easily be a shot in the dark, and this could potentially change nothing, but if the tier system emphasized and rewarded traits such as philanthropy, adherence to rules, and benevolence, then maybe sorority and frat socials and daylongs and other drinking events wouldn’t be considered as important.

It seems to me that many of the current ratings on greekrank.com have to do with how fun the parties are and who has the best time. Maybe this influences the irresponsible drinking behavior, encouraging fraternities and sororities to have crazier parties and more vicious hazing in order to gain a more esteemed spot in the Greek life tier. Again, I don’t know this for sure, but it seems like a possibility. I don’t know what the next steps would be to change this perspective of ranking Greek life, but it’s something to think about. Sororities and fraternities should be rewarded based on accomplishments and not physical appearance, and reputation should stem from good deeds rather than the amount of alcohol at socials.

The issue of Greek life at Penn State is so multifaceted and complex that it’s hard for me to make any type of argument or propose a solution to the problems that have arisen. But as a freshman last year I was struck by how many people talked about the tier system of fraternities and sororities, and I do believe at the very least there should be a heightened focus on how this competition could be affecting the actions of participants in Greek life.

Let me start by saying that I feel like I should really try my luck in the lottery. This summer has brought with it a lot of good fortune for me in the realm of things New York-related. First, I had the amazing opportunity to sit down for breakfast with Don King, the director of my all-time favorite show Saturday Night Live. He’s a Penn State alumnus (got to love those Penn State alumni connections), and by some stroke of what must have been a combination of luck and circumstance, I got the chance to pick his brain. He gave me some extremely valuable advice, especially when it comes to my dream career of writing for a comedy show. He also talked candidly about the SNL cast members, as if they’re regular people or something. For example, he told me how his daughter became close with Amy Poehler when she was on the show, and while on the outside I said something like “that’s so sweet,” on the inside I was convulsing at the thought of even having a conversation with one of my idols.

My lucky strike hit again a few weeks later when I went on a quick, 2-day trip to New York with my mom and my aunt to see the play “A Doll’s House, Part 2.” The play was INCREDIBLE and because my aunt has some pretty sweet connections – in this case, she is good friends with the wife of Chris Cooper, the astounding main actor in the play – we were on the “backstage” list for the show. I felt so important when we walked past the horde of people waiting for autographs in order to get backstage – another situation in which I tried to play it cool on the outside but was anything but cool on the inside. That’s the story of my life. When we got to the small room behind the stage where visitors wait to greet the performers, we were the only ones there. Then the door opened and none other than JAMES FRANCO walked in with his friend. I muttered some incoherent nonsense words to my mom and mustered up every ounce of courage I had to ask him for a photo. We chatted for like 30 seconds – 30 surreal, trying-to-stay-composed seconds – and then the performers came in and I also got to talk to Chris Cooper!!! Everyone in that small room was far more important than me and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Finally, whatever luck that was coming my way was not done yet because a few weeks later I got an e-mail saying I had SCORED TICKETS TO THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON! There was a day early on in June when I had to log onto a website at like 10:00 in the morning and request tickets for show tapings. My friend Shay had done this last year and had won tickets (he took me, it was AMAZING, and I am forever grateful), so I wanted to try again – assuming that if they were so hard to come by the first time, there was little chance I would get them a second. But, lo and behold, the e-mail told me that I was selected for four tickets for a taping on Tuesday, July 25^th! Beyond hype, I found three of my friends who were just as excited as I was and we made it a date.

July 25^th was two days ago, and to make a long blog post even longer – here is my full recount of our Tonight Show experience:

Graeme drove me, Harsh, and Nate to the Princeton Junction train station in the morning so we could take the NJ Transit to Penn Station (we are broke college students who you know cannot afford the expensive tickets for bougie Septa). We arrived at the station at around noon – Graeme and Harshitha feeling the early signs of concussion from standing up and slamming into the overheard railing on the train – and then made the half hour trek to 30 Rock for lunch. We pretended we were healthy and got some food at an organic restaurant, then walked around the plaza for a bit while taking copious amounts of photos. Here’s hoping that the one woman who took our group photo ended up finding her phone and maybe more importantly the 30 French students she had supposedly lost.

Soon enough, after playing the Price is Right in the NBC store and subsequently abandoning Graeme to his own devices, 3:00 rolled around and we were able to go to the Grand Stair and check-in for the Tonight Show! A huge crowd had already formed by the time we got there, but the workers informed everyone that it didn’t matter who got there first – the seating arrangements had already been pre-determined. We showed our tickets, IDs, then were escorted upstairs to the Peacock Lounge (the waiting room) where we were told taking any photos was strictly prohibited. This did not stop the meathead in front of us in line, however, from trying to get some pics. This proved entertaining for the four of us when the security guard yelled at him and demanded he delete the photos in front of him. We’re still unsure whether the meathead was under the influence in any way, or just the dullest tool in the shed.

We waited for about an hour in the Peacock Lounge, talking and getting excited as we watched the slideshow of photos of different guests that have been on the Tonight Show. Then someone announced that they were going to start filling the studio, and that anyone with a green ticket that has a letter from A to O should get in line alphabetically, depending on the letter. We all had green tickets with Gs on them, so we were relatively close to the front of the line. We didn’t want to get too excited though, because of the pre-determined seating. Still, we were quivering with anticipation as a part of the first group to get into the elevator to go up to studio 6B!

We waited in a room on the sixth floor with a few others for a couple minutes, and soon they started letting people in and asking how many were in the party. It felt like we were boarding a ride at Disney World or something! When it was our turn and we said we had four, they led us all the way to the bottom of the tiny studio and SAT US ON THE STUDIO FLOOR IN THE FRONT ROW!!! We all kind of turned to each other with “is this real?” looks on our faces. I was right next to the teleprompter, so basically whenever Jimmy would look at his lines he would see my manic face peeking into his peripheral.

Once the studio was loaded, a warm-up comedian came in to get the crowd revved up. He picked on a guy from Australia for a long time and I was already laughing so hard my post-wisdom-teeth-surgery-already-sore-jaw was killing me in the best way. Then the Roots came in and the crowd went wild as they played for a bit. Before we knew it, the band stopped playing, the crowd quieted down (but not on the inside), and the crew began the countdown. When it reached zero the curtains opened and out came the man, the myth, the legend, JIMMY FREAKING FALLON! We were so close to him we could make out every line on his face and every hair out of place (which was like, none). He gave his hilarious monologue and pros/cons list about Anthony Scaramucci (barf), both super entertaining but just a preface to the hilarity that would ensue for the rest of the show. The guests were the amazing JESSICA BIEL and the gorgeous MATT BOMER! Plus the musical guest was Kelsea Ballerini, who I hadn’t heard of before but was really good.

Jimmy and his guests played charades and talked through the interviews, both of which made me want to watch Jessica Biel’s and Matt Bomer’s upcoming projects. As the crew set up for Kelsea’s performance, Jimmy himself came into the crowd and talked to us like we were guests at an intimate dinner party. He was so kind and personable, and the whole time I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be Jimmy, knowing that he’s by far the most famous person in a room of people who would probably all willingly sign up to be his servants. At the end of the show, Jimmy came around again and doled out high-fives and hugs – Nate, Graeme, Harsh and I all got to hug him which was pretty much like touching an angel. The taping of the show went by so quickly and was the experience of a lifetime. Plus, it was so cool to see what happens behind the scenes – like when Jimmy kept messing up the name of Kelsea’s new album and had to do four takes!

After the show, the four of us went out to dinner at a super nice Italian restaurant, had a rousing political discussion (you know, as all the cool kids do), and caught the 9:35 train back to Princeton Junction from Penn Station. It was a long, full day, but also one of the most fun days of my life and I couldn’t have asked for a better group to go with! The theme of this blog post has been luck, so I want to end by saying that I feel so super lucky to have been able to go TWICE to a taping of the Tonight Show. My first experience with Shay, Andrew, and Emory was equally as incredible and memorable. I am also lucky to have such good friends who will take me and come with me on these opportunities!

Fingers crossed that there will be another opportunity to do it all again next summer!

Before this summer, I had never worked a job in the customer service industry. I have worked (and still do currently) at a country club for a few years now, but I’m fully aware that it’s not a typical job; I heed to the requirements of the members and keep up the courts, but I rarely work at the same time with other employees and those who come to play tennis don’t necessarily need me for anything while they are there. I sweep the courts for them, get them balls or towels if they are requested, and make sure to always be available for friendly conversation or even to sub in if they need an extra player. But that’s pretty much the extent of it.

I came home from school for the summer knowing that I needed to supplement work at the country club with an additional job if I wanted to make the money that would keep up with my college spending habits (which consisted mostly of Penn State attire, accessories for school, and a whole lot of food). I went onto the online job listing site Indeed, which led me to a hostess position at a Greek restaurant my family and I were frequent customers of. Like I said before, I had never done anything like working in a restaurant, but I knew that this place was a relatively small establishment with very friendly employees, so I figured why not give it a shot? I’ve always enjoyed challenging myself with new things, and this opportunity presented me with a perfect challenge.

My first few days on the job were difficult. Conquering the learning curve in such a fast-paced setting can be pretty trying. All of the following happened to me within the first week:

1. Put in takeout orders completely wrong which resulted in the customer calling back and the manager having to refund the meal
2. Put in takeout orders completely wrong then catching the mistake right before bagging it which resulted in the cook having to remake the entire meal
3. Got yelled at by a customer for something that wasn’t my fault which resulted in me crying, overwhelmed, in the individual bathroom while people waited for me
4. Pissed off my co-workers because of general incompetence

So…yeah. It wasn’t all sunshine and roses when I started out. But, as with most things I have found, time heals everything – including this beginner’s incompetence. I started to pick up on things I thought I would never get right in the beginning – specifically takeout orders. I learned the difference between gyro platters and gyro sandwiches, I learned the difference between souvlaki and tiropita and spanakopita and saganaki and karidopita and galaktobouriko (wait, no…I still mix up the last two). I learned when to ask “would you like rice or potatoes with that?” and when to ask “would you like fries or a salad with that?” But aside from the menu (which was evidently one of the biggest challenges), I have already learned a lot of other valuable lessons in the nearly two months that I’ve worked at this restaurant.

Things Hostessing Has Taught Me

1. Take my time, but use it efficiently
   • When it comes to putting in takeout orders, I have to take my time and make sure everything is completely right so as not to sabotage the cooks or disappoint the customers. But when the restaurant is busy and other employees need command of the computer, I need to make sure I’m being efficient and fast-paced. Overall, I really learned how to manage my time depending on the context of the situation.
2. Being friendly goes a long way
   • A lot of the customers are regulars, and many say the reason for this is because the service they get from the employees is very personable. More so, though, if the customer is not a regular, then all it takes is being friendly to make a good first impression. Many other factors contribute to a good dining experience, but I learned immediately that smiling, being polite, and asking customers questions really pays off.
3. Working with co-workers is awesome
   • The bonds formed with co-workers are unlike any other, because these people are the only ones who really understand what the work is like. You get to know them really quickly, and it’s super nice to have people to vent to and make inside jokes with. Plus, it’s been fun to hunt down local restaurants that are open late and go there every Saturday after work with two of my fellow employees.
4. Everybody makes mistakes
   • Hannah Montana was right when she said this. And though it’s something I had always known before, learning this lesson in the customer service environment was especially helpful. Even the waitresses that have been there for years make mistakes when it comes to putting in orders and reservations or interacting with customers. Mistakes are bound to happen, and I’ve found that it’s much better to bounce back quickly and use them as learning lessons than to dwell on them for a long time (something that I have been historically infamous for).
5. Appreciate customer service workers
   • I’ve only been working at the restaurant for two months, but I already know how grueling it can be. Nothing makes a stressful night worse than being yelled at by a customer (see example above) or being left a really lousy tip. Working in the customer service industry has shown me that I need to appreciate these workers myself when I go out to dinner or get waited on in any way. People are not machines just because they are serving your food. So, please, don’t be like the three teenagers who came in twenty minutes before closing, took their time eating a big meal, then left a less than 10% tip. That’s not cool!

Like one of the waitresses once said to me, everyone should experience a job like this at some point in their lives. It not only teaches meaningful lessons, but it also can be really fun and you can make some super good mullah! The moral of the story is the next time someone asks you “would you like fries with that,” don’t look down on him or her. Just give your answer and maybe drop some money in the tip jar on your way out. You never know the difference that could make!

I am a very competitive person. Ask anyone who knows me. I will get equally intense in a friendly card game as I do in a high-stakes tennis match. My adrenaline is pumping, my excitement level is high from the thrill of the match-up, and I can’t help but feel like I was kicked down a few pegs if the result isn’t in my favor.

I don’t know where this competitive nature comes from. Maybe I was born with it. Maybe it’s the result of playing and watching sports and contests since a young age. Maybe it’s because I grew up with an equally competitive older brother who, like me, made a fierce competition out of everything – from vacation mini golf to Playstation games to being the first the finish the math problems that my dad would write down on restaurant’s paper place mats.

I feel as though there are a lot of good things that come from being competitive. It motivates me to push myself to the absolute limit of my abilities. Because if I’m not competing with others, I’m competing with myself and striving to prove myself as improved from the past. Being competitive has allowed me to feel a wide range of emotions – from the high highs that come with being successful in something that is very important to me, to the low lows of feeling like I failed at something that was within my grasp.

The high highs are a unique type of satisfaction that comes not so much from beating someone else but more so from proving to myself my own capabilities. The low lows, on the other hand, may suck and get me pretty down temporarily, but they also serve as learning lessons or funny stories to tell (sometimes both).

Take, for example, my failed seventh grade softball career. During the season I had only one single hit, causing my batting average to fall below 0.100. I had maybe one good catch the entire season (in right field where they stuck me in hopes that no ball would ever come my way). I was so ashamed of my lack of softball skills that I couldn’t make eye contact with the coaches. But, years later, my softball experience transformed from a failure to a story that would have people clutching their stomachs from laughing so hard.

However, there are some downsides to this competitiveness. The biggest one being that I constantly compare myself to others in terms skills, abilities, appearance, decisions, etc. And this isn’t because I want to be better than the people I compare myself to; it’s because a lot of the time I can’t help but feel inadequate compared to people who are more athletic, more intelligent, skinnier, taller, better prepared, more talented and so much else.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a confident person. I love who I am and I know that I have a lot to offer the world and the people around me. But everyone compares themselves to others, and my competitive nature just accelerates and intensifies this process. I think the biggest thing that I feel self-conscious about is my choice of major in college. I’m majoring in film and political science, two fields that excite and enthrall me, but it’s hard to ignore the seemingly ever-present pressures of society to do something that has more job security, study something that will actually benefit the world, major in something that’s actually challenging.

I hate feeling hesitant to tell people that my primary major is film because I can just hear the doubts that are running through their minds – I’ll never get a job, that’s a pipe dream, I won’t be able to support myself financially, etc. And when it comes to classmates, I’m also hesitant because I’m afraid I’ll face criticism for not choosing something harder. Some (not all, but some) engineers or STEM majors will describe their mountains of homework and exams, will say things like “I wish I had your workload,” and will make me feel like I’m not working hard enough or I’m taking the easy way out.

The reality is that I’m doing what I love. I’m doing what makes me happy. I could probably hold my own if I had decided to major in engineering or something similar, but I wouldn’t be excelling and I wouldn’t be as happy. I didn’t purposefully choose majors because they were “easy” (even though I don’t believe they are), I chose them because I knew they were areas in which I would be able to make a real contribution if I combined my talents and strong education.

I don’t know what I will do with my future. It’s true that the job security in my chosen fields is not the same as a lot of the STEM fields. But the one thing that I can be absolutely certain about is the effort that I choose to put into whatever I do. Motivation and willingness to think outside of the box are two of my strong suits and two things that I am confident in.

So for now, I have to focus on myself and doing the best that I can. I need to cut down on the comparisons. I wish everyone else would do the same and just mind their own business without passing judgment onto the work or decisions of others, but this is the nature of life. As long as I’m doing what I love and surrounding myself with people who support me, I can’t really complain.

Life itself is not a competition. You won’t find me challenging the decisions of others in terms of what they want to do with their lives.

But I’ll challenge you any day to a game of poker.